Walk with Faith

One of the ironies in life - there are things that you are able to experienced by now and then at the later part you will just laugh into it after you recovered. Who cares? If you messed up life once in a while its okay. After all, a life without mistake is a crap.

I confess, that oftentimes life is unfair but theres nothing else I can do but to deal with it... will go with it as it goes with the old saying, “If you don't like it, then fake it!”. Yes, its true. When I am into pain or into sort of struggles that caused me to shed my tears - it's really hard to move on especially if that pain inflicted me most and worst leave me scarce from the past. By then, I naturally felt like being left out by the whole world but I was left with no choice but to accept things. Perhaps, the least thing that I can do by now is to strengthen my back, suppress my emotions, wrestle with my fears and get rid of those negativities that coming in. I realized the logic that when reality bites it really hurts but the bad thing is I can never ever bite it back. :-(

Well, It's feels so good that in trying times like this I wont give up, that's for sure - though the rain is pouring hard for me and the storm is striking out across the bridge and yet I stand still. Thus, nobody can heal your wounds except you...only you and no one can tell when would that be. I don't believe, however, that time can heal wounds instantly but for me you would only get healed by the time that you yourself have decided and wants to be cured.

I tried to figure out things, it holds true that friends presence somehow gives me a relief but as I grow older things seemed to be not perfect and turns out my expectations into failures instead...I hate to say but it's a fact. Some of them are true, some of them are fake! I wont count my friends when things are being perfect, laughter, and fun is abundant but rather I am counting on them through storms whose heart is ready to back me up, gives me hope and willing to lift up my spirit into courage...then perhaps that would be the time that I would know who deserves to be called as a FRIEND.

Maybe thats what life is, if you'll be dead serious about it...you'll be dead (not literally). No matter how it goes, no matter what it is don't stumble, just cling to your faith and just go on.

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My Fate

In ones life, there are things that can be happen in which I don't want it to be happen. The saddest thing is that I'm pretty much unprepared to accept things. Thus, the greatest fear that inflicted me most is to discover the things that are not meant for me and there's nothing else I can do but to cry and I feel so helpless.

After all, we've never been together... It's like a blowing wind that passes me by, soothes to all my senses, can even heal my troubled soul and makes up my longing's in life instantly. By then, I felt so secured and elated.

But why on earth everything needs to be changed? All of the sudden, everything has changed so swiftly and gradually shattered all my dreams because someone has intervened my way as if that person would ready to slap me out.

I came to realized that twa's excruciating when I get myself involved to the person I like and unknowingly, I already fall into his own deep well. People claimed, there are many fishes in the ocean but for me only one fish that caught my attention and could satisfy my hunger... Only him. That fish is such a poison that kills me softly.

I must admit, for the whole entire of my life I've never been in love and now something is amiss and I can feel inside of me - the agony. I confess, I'm terribly in love yet heart broken. It's hard to know that I felt like...cheated by someone you love and that someone can't love you back.

I cannot even stop my love...I cannot help my feelings but one thing is for sure I am truly in love for the very first time. It was like a thunder that struck me most and yet there's nothing else I can do for I don't have the right in the first place.

The lesson that I've learned, if you truly in love with someone just let him go and so I did...it's sad though. I would rather bear the anguish and just be glad for his own happiness, for his one and only true love... someone else.

People do keep on asking me "Dear, are you okay? something's wrong on you. You were so quiet these past few weeks?". I confess, I'm not okay but I would rather say "Yes, I am okay", for the benefit of everyone who truly showed their concern, love and sympathy.

I hope and I pray that soon after, in God's time this pain that I have would eventually subside. Now, I'm struggling enough to wrestle with my fears and learn to shut down my emotions for a while as it doesn't make sense at all. After all, he doesn't deserved for my love. I can forgive and I will forgive.

I do know that Happiness in this world is not absolute. However, I would struggle more to earn the most precious stone in this world and that is LOVE. I want to keep my hopes up that someday everything will turns out perfectly and will put into its own place.

I confess, I wont ever cry over spilled milk but I'm moving on... still.